5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
