So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
