3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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