break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
