dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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