If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
