all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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