Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
