Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
