I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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