Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
