i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
