the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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