I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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