she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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