You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
