she smelled like a LAN party
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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