My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
