fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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