I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
