soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
