i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
