My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she told me i tasted like america
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
