Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i just sent this text using only my big toe
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
