ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
