Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
