I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I need to calm my uterus...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
