I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
A bitchslap is in order.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
