She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
