i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
