this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
