I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
