ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
