what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
