All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
