woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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