Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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