i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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