But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
