ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
