I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
