just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
