if you like me you must not know who I am
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
