This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
