I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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