Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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