fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
