just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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