Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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