i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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