never play flip cup with pint glasses
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
two words: eviction party
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
