just come out here and I will go home with you...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
